The Drinking Game: Espada Style
by Teslyn
Summary: Gin fondly remembers the drinking game back in Seireitei; he forces his new comrades to play. Cue the Ultimate Feeling of Utter Doom, Grimmjow thinks.


**Name: **The Drinking Game: Espada-Style

**Pairings/Characters**: UlquiorraxGrimmjow, Espada, Gin, Aizen, Tousen.

**Summary: **Gin fondly remembers the Drinking Game, and gathers his new comrades to play. Grimmjow starts getting this feeling of Complete and Utter Doom.

* * *

Grimmjow couldn't quite explain it.

It was inexplicable, this feeling of Complete and Utter Doom that overcame him, suffocating him, taunting him, and generally scaring the shit out of him. He first felt it when he saw the look on Ichimaru Gin's face when the ex-Shinigami-turned-whatever-he-was-but-it-certainly-wasn't-an-Arrancar-or-Grimmjow-would-flip-a-shit waltzed into the room, searching for Tousen, but instead (to his surprise and delight) finding Grimmjow and Ulquiorra in a compromising - and downright _sexy_ - position instead.

Gin had squealed in a decidedly feminine way, and swooned in a ridiculously high voice, "My, my, an' here I was thinkin' _Grimmkitty_ would top!" before giggling – giggling! – turning to run off. Stopping at the threshold of the door, he glanced back at the couple who were still in shock, creepy smile in place.

"Ne, don't worry! I swear t' yer that I won't be tellin' _anyone_," the man chirped happily before skipping off, calling for "Kana-chaaan!". The _'yet'_ unspoken was nevertheless heard by everyone.

Okay, so maybe Grimmjow COULD explain this foreboding feeling: because of one Ichimaru Gin, Creepy Smile Extraordinaire, he and Ulquiorra were fucked. Seriously screwed over.

x

"What?" Tousen asked, a note of slight disbelief in his voice.

"The drinking game!" Gin repeated. "Don't say yer tellin' me _ya_ never played!"

"Aa, but I don't think he did, Gin," Aizen intervened before Gin started making fun of the blind man – _again_.

"Then o'course he _'as_ ta play. Ya can't go through life wi' out playin' the drinking game!"

And that was why the ten Espada, Aizen, Gin, and Tousen were gathered together, seated before a great number of shots.

"I have never tried to peep on Halibel," Stark said smugly.

Halibel's eyes widened in shock – and anger, lots of anger, a really unhealthy amount, if we want to be specific – before her eyes swept around the room, most likely making a mental note of who was drinking.

Nnoitra's creepy tongue slid out, licking his lips nervously before he gathered the courage to defiantly drink a shot under his female superior's withering glare. Szayel Aporro scowled and muttered, "You'd've tried too, if you weren't gay," before downing a glass of his own. Yami followed suit with a guffaw, and Halibel was just a little creeped out when Aaroniero-wearing-Shiba-Kaien drank one as well.

_Note to Self: Murder ever one of them. Horribly, _the female Espada thought darkly.

Tousen sniffed in disgust, standing and glancing down at everyone else in that condescending "NO1LIKESUHAHAHAHA" way that only he could manage.

"I'm leaving," he said. "This is a ridiculous pastime, and I refuse to take part in this childishness."

Gin half-rose, pulling Tousen back down beside him.

"Aww, but Kana-chan! Jus' stay a little bit longa- I want _everyone_ t'here this one."

Cue the Ultimate Feeling of Inevitable Death and More Doom via Extreme Embarrassment (a feeling went hand in hand with the Ultimate Feeling of Wanting to Bash Ichimaru Gin's Head In and Hurt Him In Many, Many Gruesome Ways And Then Cero Him Out of Existence.)

Grimmjow's eyes narrowed, and he suddenly had the urge to grab Ulquiorra and get the hell _outta_ there. This was bad, real bad: Gin was almost visibly _sparkling_ in his excitement.

"I have never been topped by Ulquiorra!" the not-Shinigami-not-Arrancar exclaimed brightly.

Too brightly.

Silence ensued. And blinking. A bit of blanching, too. Oh, and someone pantomimed retching.

Then laughter broke out, and Nnoitra asked, "Who _has_? That emo guy's a total prick!"

Ulquiorra bristled. Grimmjow coughed indignantly on his lover's behalf. Gin pointed at Grimmjow gleefully, right as the Sexta Espada was setting his glass back down.

Laughter choked and sputtered, dying out rather abruptly.

"Oh, that so?" Aizen asked mildly, voice breaking the stilled silence. "I've always wanted to try a foursome. Haven't you, Gin?"

_**End**_

o.o;

Crack, pure crack.

-Teslyn


End file.
